gaining weight .

Kalau dulu, aku boleh je terime if org kate aku ni kurus la, slim la kering la even xdela smpi mcm tu sgt. or org kte mkn byk tp berat tak naikla. tp skrg ni, xramai dh kate mcm tu. maybe obvious sgt kot aku dah naik berat badan. pipi dah terase kembang skit. paling parah bile dah takde thigh gap. dulu ak xpenah pon nak amik kesah dgn "thigh gap" "pipi chipmunk" "double chin" yg most of girls salu emphasize dlm caption diorg. malahan, ak rse diorg tu exaggerate je. walhal, xnampak tang mane chubby , chipmunk nye. skrg ni, ak dah rase takut. selera time time ni, bukan main. bkn selera mkanan mahal or hipster or yg xberkhasiat tu. im more to nasik. nasik nasik nasik. lau duk UIA, nasi due kali. kalau balik rumah, tiga kali shari. tu xinclude tambah nasik @ amaun nasik yg ak senduk . huhuhu .. sies, xrase dh slim2. dah buncit dah skrg ni. berlapis2 rase perut. xnakkkkkkkkkkk gain weight. weight dah normal dah ni.. tp knp mls jogging ek? dlu tahan la jgk. mungkin sebab cuace? kurang galakan oleh masyarakat sekeliling? *cari alasan. pdhl ade je org ajak tiap2 ptg. ak ni yg xnk matahri sgt.. ingt org nak ke lau xde sunburn?????? byk lg karakteristik lain yg org tgk utk jdi isteri pilihan.. ak suke tgk girls yg join scout, hiking, buat aktiviti mencabar gittew.. kagumm. diorg xtakut panas. hehehe. aku plak pantang ade matahari.. huhu.. 

so bulan ni aku rase mcm dahsyat sgt sbb makan byk sgt. pizza (banyak kali), sushi, kfc, nasi mandy, chicken rice shop,nasi lemak, nasi ng keli tu xyah citer la kan, nasi goreng pon byk jenis. huhu asyik nasik je. ad try skali mkn kuey tiaw. tp kena sambung esok nya pulak .huhu.. so mmg ain dan nasik tiada terpisah. bahayanya nasik ni is calory die tinggi. lebihnye ain ni, die xminum air manis.. tp , still rase berlemak dah diri ni...

so, my target for this ramadhan, selain dpt tingktkan amal ibadah, dihrpnyer ain manfaatkan ramadhan ni utk kurangkan pemakanan, jgn jd pelahap and pelapar n sewaktu dgnnye. jgn tamak. jgn membazir,, makan jgn smpi kenyang. kena sebelum kenyang. ok bai. MISI TURUN 3 KG ! chaiyokkk !

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sincerely Miss LOL

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I cant brain with these people --'

Seriously, I don't know why A has to hate B. hate? I can't find a suitable word for it. A seems to be okay with B in Instagram, but she acts differently at other social medias. She seems to hate B so much, I mean she can't accept her for being so close with me. That makes me want to be closer you know -_______________- I don't want to say this, but I want to highlight that please don't judge people based on their appearance, the way they dress up, the length@ width of their tudung. 

How can she leave lots of comments at a guy's pic with such "seeking attention" contents? She wear tudung labuh, bla bla bla ..

How can she tweet with such rude words, saying bad things about others without realizing ppl will see them? She attends usrah, talks and even recite du'as every time. She got so jealous when people doing exciting activities without her and mad at them.

How can a girl be so cheap , how can she text the guy, dm the guy, ask for number, flirt with many guys................................... and the lists go down. 

Have you heard such things before ?


As for me, I did say that too, but I realize we can't blame their attires or their ritual activities if they still do those things. People cant escape from making mistakes. But, they should hide it instead of expose them in public. It is such a shame you know.. I hope that you, who appear like ustazah to act the way you dress. I know, it sounds like an order. but, you're being like this for almost three years. please change before more people get annoyed with you. ( change means, stop being jealous, stop posting rude words, stop hating my friend for being clingy with me, stop stop stop !!!!!!!!!!!! in other words, just stop doing that to me and people around me. if you want to be jealous or sulk, just please not me) I'm tired. A good friend is a friend who understands you, accepts you , knows you , appreciates you. I know, I'm a kind of person who easily get attached with someone. and I know I cant please all of you. I also need time for myself and my family. What I'm telling you is, if we already went outing for that weekend, please don't say"sampai hati tak ajak" " tak tahu pun" "bile nk kuar ng aku plak" or any words that give the same meaning lah ! Judge me if you think I'm mean but you don't know what I feel at that moment. I spent my last weekend for you, and the next weekend for my other friends. Im being fair, cant you see? I'm not yours. I'm just your friend,just like others. Please be thankful , grateful as I did find time for you :) please, please understand me. If you want me to be with you for the whole weekend, please sponsor me NOT the other way round. I'm not pointing to anyone, but if you feel you're doing so. don't tell me. don't make me feel guilty. Just change for good. Its not good for me, but good for everyone. kbai

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sincerely Miss LOL

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alhamdulillah

Dah lama dah tak update blog since baru baru ni busy nak midterm kot or nothing to be shared. and busy sangat sambut birthday baby March. seriously, tak penah expect pon ramai kawan yang lahir bulan March. maka penuhla ig ku dengan gambar diorang. Antaranya termasuklah Sumayyah, Shyahirah, Pia, Ili, Epul, Wani, Dolly, Kak Dena, Tiyah, pastu budak2 kelas 5 Ammar ; Mas, Ijek, Timoh, Ica dan budak2 course IT ; Meyna and sape lagi tah xingat. ramai sangat.

Sumayyah's

Shyahirah's

Pia's

Despite all of this happiness, ingatkan penat lelah March ni just for birthday celebration. hehe. rupenya ade lagi kebahagiaan Allah nak bagi. Tapi serious , seriously rase nak nangis sebab terharu dan happy sgtla. cant describe and i cant even express it with action and words. just hrap sgt this thing might end in proper way :")

MY CRUSH LIKES ME TOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ye, I thought he wasnt serious towards me. So, act mcm biase la kan. ignore je, sebab serious bab2 perasaan ni lau deal ng someone yg kite mmg serious kt dia, lau die nk main2 i wont layan. sbb sakit tu perit. Tak nak dah layan layan perasaan main2 ni. I like him a lot, not just for temporary but permanent of course . dah 21 kot , takkan nak cari yang x elok kan. So, mcm ni la alkisahnya. .

Satu malam tu, agk midnight la , we use to chat at midnight sbb aku mmg xkcau dia siang hari or awal mlm coz dis guy is kaki studi and agk pandai la actually. so xnak la heret die membazir mase ng aku.lgpon aku bukanla ade topik sgt nk berbual lame2. then, mlm tu die ws, asking opinion mcm mne nk tau org benci kite ke x. pastu ak potpet2 n die habaq yg die ad mntk tlg smone tu, tp org tu mcm kasar2 kt dia but still tlg die. so he assumed that the guy msti xsuke die. alolo cian my crush -_-

and and and duk hurai psl "how to know whther ppl hate u or not" die suddenly kuar dr topik. and said that magic words to me. yer tiga perkataan tu. 143 . and I ignored it at first and continued babbled about the matter. pastu die ckp he doesnt know what he felt at the moment, he likes me but at the same time, he rejects me. pastu die pon ckp sorry  sorry sorry lalalalalala ~~~~~~~~  pastu, die pon ckp gak dont expect sweet2 things from him as he keeps it for marriage. tak tahula maksud kahwin tu kahwin ng aku ke general kan. so please dont go over the moon ain hiks ! tapi at least, crush suke balik tu kira syokla kan. korang hado? hahah ! then hari yg berbunga2 xberlalu smpai la skrg. :") Thanks ! I got nothing special but Ill try to do my best to be by your side, listening to ur sadness and happiness. baru baru ni kan cuti mid sem, and mase nak balik ke kampung masing2 tu, kebetulan kitorang contact. mase tu die xconfess lagi la. just bercia cia je tp tu pon improvement dh la. die dulu cold kot. ws pon kkdg je balas , ignore n sepatah2 je jawab. sabar kan aku suke org mcm ni? coz I am sure he has somthing spcial that he hides. ye ye je kan. dah suke tu mstila cakap benda baik je kan. xnampak dah buruknya. huhu. . Okayy continue,, we went to the same place, Kl sentral. die smpi lewat skit, so ak dh mkn time tu. n die terlepas train yg pukul 12.30. train strusnya kul 5. hehe. then aku teman die mkn. ohh ada akma sekali time tu. so bertiga okayyyy.  teman die makan kt kfc je. eventhough krik2, mmg aku jmp die tu teman die makan semata2. xcakap pon, die sibuk dk scroll 9gags n gelak sorang2. ak tny2 baru die jwb. tp die comel je hihihi. walau xckp byk pon, ak da ckup happy sbb dpt la face to face ng dia. mase nk jmp tu, bkn main lame lg ak mundar mandir dk fikir nk pegi ke x nak pegi ke x. peluang xdtg salu kot. kt uia, nk trsmpak pon susah, apetah lg nk betegur sapa. xtaula knp ng die ni, i was a bit nervous. a bit la sgt. rase mcm byk. lau dlu ,die tgur pon ak da xtau nk ckp ape. -_- padahal tgur tny bnda bkait ng kelas je. lau trsmpak pon aku lari. Auww pemalunya Ain . so not me right? okay , lps teman mkn kt kfc, pegi surau solat2 n xjmp dah pastu. waktu cuti midterm xws sgt pon sbb duk rumah kan. hari ketige kt rumah ak ws, tu pon sptah je ws n spth je die jwb. pastu mase die balik uia, baru kitorg ws lame sikit.LOL.  okay, xtahula korang rase benda ni happy ke tak but I to me, aku happy la jgk, sbb slame ni org yg nak kt aku, aku xnak. this time, ak nak, org nak jgk. so happy a bit. but kitorg kawan je ni even hopefully, perasaan tu ade la. maintain aku kau je hokayyyyyy.. still msg malam je. xmsg lame2 mcm org len pon n xbergayut pon. Im fine with this better. lgpon memasing ade life kan :) Pray for us hikhik <3

Muke happy hihi :P

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sincerely Miss LOL

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Shopaholic

I have to admit that my bad habit is getting nauseating lately. What is it? The bad habit of  "can't see cheap things are sold" . When I see them and I think I afford to own it, I will buy it undoubtedly. I tried to prevent myself from buying them, some stuffs were saved from becoming my victims. But some were not. Luckily, I'm not that fan of shoes. So, I managed to control myself from buying more shoes. haa, and the skirts too !No longer buy them because I realize that I'm too lazy to iron them and end up wearing the only jeans that I'm comfortable in it. Hiks. For the bag, I failed. I bought cath kidston sling bag last week. It was the most expensive bag that I ever bought for myself. below rm50 okayy, at least.. But, I accidentally bought baymax sling bag (sling bag again) though the colour is maroon, not pink or white. but it is baymax. So I bought it -_- . n still, I can't forget the dirt cheap items that I didn't purchase from that garage sale. Where is the old me???????? who is very stingy to buy lots of stuffs, I used to use one item until it rots itself. but now, I tend to buy and keep them for future use . Hahahaha ! I asked my friend "how to prevent myself from reminsicing the items that I didn't buy?" She said, buy them sooner -________- Okayyy, there's no solution. I knew the solution is "don't step to such places , where the sales are happening . But still, I got the feeling that it would be awful to not buy items with low price. Grab the chances !!! said the heart.. hurmmmmmmmmmm... And for now, I am very sure that I'm gonna stop shopping for awhile as I know my savings is getting lower days by days. So, let's put a halt. But, I have to go out for other weekend to celebrate jiji's birthday and also meet Supi for the last time before he return to Queesland. and also sending off Jiji to Japan on 19th March . So everythin requires money, for the fare and food. Emm, it's okay for those stuffs, just cut off the shopping budget. No more shopping for clothes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no more new bags. new shoes, new accessories except fare and food. and last but not least, try to avoid people who ask you to eat at expensive places or go to expensive places just for the views and galoks. No watching movies at cinemas (still succeeded to avoid this place on previous sem) No no for that. Prioritize the highlighted one ! Okayy. May this target come true <3

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sincerely Miss LOL

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jangan kecam saya

I personally think that I deserve to feel this way as I did to certain people previously. But, the feeling is unbearable.Though I didn't say any words or act like I like him a lot or etc but he is so introvert. Why isn't he interested to befriend with me? So as usual, I guess I don't deserve him. seriously. despite of his good looking AUMM , he is such a good son , comes to UIA just for the sake of finishing his degree and getting job. And me ? I cant deny that I'm totally different with him. I always go outing, accompanying my friends to anywhere -____________- why am I being like this? ok don't bother about that. 

So, I'm writing this to calm myself, to coax myself for grieving about the guy that is so heartless to me. Maybe, it is still not the right time to think about loving a guy coz all you need to focus is about repaying your parents' deeds all this while and be a good example for the others especially your siblings. and, you don't deserve that good guy until you change yourself first towards a better person. not only treating you appearance, but also your skills in cooking and etc. Then, people will come after you huhhuhu. 

Dear self, don't torture yourself liking someone who doesn't even want to know you at first. Nobody is wrong , it just the time is not right. and don't simply downgrade yourself by sighing about your flaws that makes you unwanted. It isn't like that. The world is not that cruel. You just deserve someone else that remains unknown. Just be patient and be sure with Allah's plan and make du'a incessantly for a good partner for you. Allah is always with those who are patient. After all, you lose nothing for not being loved by a guy. you have your family and friends who are sooooooooooooooooo grateful to have you around. hopefully :')

And yeah, expressing love is not just by confessing with words, enough with your efforts and action. 

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sincerely Miss LOL

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I dont know what youre up to :(

Last two night, it was stilll early around 11 pm, ur text saying hi was quite a surprise to me. Coz u seldom text me first. Maybe three or four times. Then ,i replied bai .however, you were so interesting that night that you managed to hold the conversation until midnight. But,u acted weirdly, using those sweet words and said things that might want me to say i want you. Luckily, i managed to hold my feeling from confessing to you that i had held this feeling for a sem . Hahaha. But it was unforgettable night. At the midst of conversation,u told me that u have been comfortable with me. But you opened the topic about ur ex girlfriend that u still cant  move  on. That frustrating part was "she was my first and last". I guess you are just same with the other guys, uttering those sweet words toing toing toing with a warning "dont fall in love with me , im just kidding, i just dont know where to spit it off ". Okayyy, i know this type. *daydreaming . I cant get this guy.he wouldnt be mine. How i wish he would open his heart for me coz i wont be like her girlfriend, leaving you and said "what we had wasnt real" . poor you , you dont deserve her. I deserve you hakhakhak. I dont know why u still cant move on to such girl. I guess she i really something and special enough whilst i got nothing for you unless being loyal.but yesterday, we didnt havr the same conversation anymore. You became the same person that  i knew before. A cold guy that caught my eyes. I dont know what youre up to. Friendzoning me or vice versa. Uhuks. Please say something clear  

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sincerely Miss LOL

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Let us be nice to others

Lately, I was quite distracted with people around me. I realize that I had been too patient with them and I guess it has reached the limit.. Its not that I'm regretted , but I think that people shouldn't do that to their friends. So, here I want to list them up so that you guys would understand what are the don't s in friendship .

1) You can ask favor from your friends. but, consider it first whether the favor is beyond their capability or not. is it difficult? is she free to help ? wont it trouble her ? you know, there is a kind of friend who will do anything for you without thinking about the hardship that she is going to encounter. as she has that 'some kind of feeling' xsampai hati xnak tolong. you got me ? So, she would try to settle your problem as long as she is still alive. and if she said sorry and can't help you, please say that's okay or no problem instead of making faces or sulking with them? Haih, benda mcm tu pon nak kena ajar. Please upgrade yourself in taking care of others' feelings. When you do anything, please make sure no actions or words will hurt them, yes sacrificing your feelings is a lot better if you're tough enough :)

2) Please don't say something that make her feels bad. for example, you're praising her other sisters' beauty and questioning why she's the odd one? you know what, I hate it. I have very beautiful sisters and I love them very much with all my heart. somehow , I have this kind of friend who always ask publicly why I'm the only one who is not flawless, ugly and etc. It makes me feel bad, and my self esteem goes down and down. Luckily, I don't hold any grudges towards my sisters. and the funny thing is you have made my sisters dislike you a lot, a lot a lot as they heard it and witnessed it. my sisters love me very much despite having this dotted face. huh. why do you care so much about my look.. does it bother you so much. if yes, you may step away. Its dangerous you know to play with people's confidence. You will never know how people cope with their emotions and you just come up from nowhere questioning such a stupid question. Being ugly is not a crime at all, as long as you're doing fine with people and people love you , you're just deserved to live. I wonder are you the prettiest among your siblings? :)

3) My time is not all yours. I am not saying that I'm not grateful to have a lot of friends that need me, rely on me. I'm so thankful to Allah, seriously they are all so precious that I cant ever imagine if I did hurt any of them or lose them. So, I always try hard to please them. Sometimes, I know I did trouble myself a lot just for the sake of taking care of the friendship. Thanks to Allah as He always with me, aid me, giving me energy , no giving up in life. Alhamdulillah. But, I am quite frustrated if my friend said that I don't have time for her, I already forgotten her, I found a new friend and left her or any other sarcastic words that give the same meaning.. It made me think, did she realize the previous time that I spent with her all this while ? even we just went outing that last week, and she already accused that I forgot about her when I went out my other friend for the following weeks. Hurm, dear friends please be grateful and thankful if I had spent my time with you. Its not easy for me to divide my time for my friends. I always got this problems, people always ask me to accompany them to places . I'm fine with that ,but please consider also that I also have me school friends, roomates, classmates, best friends and any other friends (without history) that I want to spend with. I'm SORRY if you feel bad if I can't go outing with you every week. hopefully, you will realize my efforts all this while when I'm no longer in this earth. I pray that you will be glad to know me, even all this while you don't see who I truly value all people who befriend with me. :)

4)If you always ask for people's help , please consider also when they suddenly ask your help . Hmmm, I am not actually a person who easily ask people's favor except when I really really can't do it or too tired. If only you know, who I really independent . But, you don't know so that's fine. So , people if people ask you for help, please don't easily say no or ignore. Try to help even a little. People will appreciate your help because not everyone is that easy to cause people trouble.

5) Don't make promises if you never know the feeling of people when you break it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can stand if you break it several times but if it is for almost a sem we've been together, you never know how I wish we become apart .haih . I'm tired, because my life is quite organized . I plan it accordingly, what time I'll be doing this and that and etc. So, if you promise me to do this and that at particular time, please be punctual . Don't procrastinate for a day or days. I have lot of other thins to do. Yeah, sometimes I also do nothing in a day, as yet I need rests too. I'm sorry if people who read this find it harsh. But, you don't know me and how I have been quite tough in facing difficulties. I am not a kind of person who would pour my anger easily, I keep it and take it as motivation for me to be stronger. Please, don't think that I'm pretending to be good. but, this kind of person is exist. A person who always hide their anger because they think it is unnecessary to get mad as the things would be healed with time. Yes, everything is always healed with time, without hurting anyone. 

6) It's good to say sorry, but does your sorry means a lot ? I mean, do you really mean it? You repeat the same mistakes and people can already memorize your scripts. :) Instead of saying sorry, I guess you should start practicing saying "THANK YOU". thank you for accompanying. thank you for helping. thank you for waiting. thank you for advising. thank you for listening to all your stories. You know, people sometimes feel awful when you always say sorry and sorry with their help. for example, she always wait for you when you're late. yes, u may say sorry for 2 or 3 times. but, please vary it with saying thanks for waiting. words can sometimes demotivate and motivate you :). And I'm the kind that is really consider people's manners and ethics though I'm not really a well-behaved one .

7) Don't ask something that you know you wouldn't deserve it. hehe. Sometimes, people ask something that only a very close and best friend could have it. and you must also ponder about yourself, are you good enough towards your friends? are you important enough? which one is you , the one that only exist during her joy, or also during her downside? are you the one who contributes the sweet moments, or you're the one who gives her a lot of troubles, give her sorrow and nightmares ? :) So, if you want people to is willing to do anything for you,sacrifice anything and be the knight of your shining armor, be the one first . 

there's a lot more but i had forgotten it. I'm not listing it for certain people but it is a general advice so that you guys would be more careful and consider others' feelings when doing anything. No hard feelings. just read it serenely. and please please please pray for me that Allah will always give me continuous patience and strength with the incessant obstacles that are coming and no more sighing as there is always a rainbow after rain   :')

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sincerely Miss LOL

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