Do not add up my burden puhliss..

So today I felt mentally exhausted. like super tired, but not physically. It was not merely my fault, but others' fault. Sorry for not admitting my fault. But, I'm upset you know. I met one old friend who would be graduating very soon in my campus.So, we chit chat a bit about subjects that I currently take and how much subjects left.So the beginning was super fine.. I enjoyed the concern.. But later, she said why I did not take all subjects in this semester, total 8 subjects. So, I said oh I cant take that because it was overload and the campus wouldn't let me do so. then, she said oh it was fine. her friend did that too. So, she began to redesign my schedule like telling me that I made a huge mistake. I said Alaa its okay. The add drop session had already ended already (long time ago, almost a month) So, she said Rugi laa bla333333 and sort of a huge disappointment for my decision.

What she did not know was, I already thought thoroughly before stepping into this semester, before deciding that I will extend my semester, I will graduate later than my friends and many more. i have been upset, down and more. Of course I care about my future.. Please dont question the sensitive questions if you do not know what I am dealing with. I did not take all the subjects altogether because I want to maintain a good pointer. I don't want to spoil it just to grad faster. I know I am not a fast learner lately. Huhu.. So, I decided to just finish my degree at the end of 2019 and graduate on 2020. Huhu.. Most of my family members and friends already supported my decision and hope the best for me. And I am also fine to see my friends' achievement and we even planned to do the pre convo together. No jealous or upset feeling at all. But, someone has just ignited the sadness again ...

Well, this issue is not too big for me cuz I will forget about it soon as I just want to focus and end this degree very soon but with flying colors Inshallah. but there's another situation.

People just cant stand seeing my flawed skin and questioned about it ?????????????????
Well, it did not just happen to me but also to my friend...

Do you people know that we did not plan to grow these bumps on our skin?
Do you pi-pol know that we do not want to have these????????
Oh, do you know that we actually take care of our skin more than you??????
and we are really cautious when eating food. There's a lot of 'NO' instead of yes. We avoid nuts, dairy food and food that are too oily and sweet.

But, things cant just always result just like we want..
I have suffered from acne severely when I was 18 years old.
Maybe it was due to the pollution there but it continues until now and getting worse. Even it seems to heal, they start to grow and grow again...

So, some people would ask...
Tak jaga makan ke?
Ni mesti sebab asyik tukar produk.
Muke berminyak tu sebab makan benda berminyak lah.
Muke sensitif ni.
Jangan makan coklat.
Minum air banyak sikit.
Tryla produk ni.. Tryla yang tu,
cuba makan supplemen ni..
Patut takde yang nak pun... (well maybe I feel this )
Geram nak picit.

Or even worse, they compare me with my other beautiful siblings, and wonder why didn't I become flawless like them?

Well, I wonder it too but I never bother about it because we siblings never compare cuz we know it would hurt. SO dont !

I know I am not that pretty enough in your eyes, I am not that deserved to be a Kelantanese due to my flawed face and my sedo funny looking and boring and what so ever. I know it already lah... But, I can try to improve my personality or akhlak as those can be shaped and improved. The skin is very stubborn and takes time to improve. So let us just pray for me to own a better skin just like you, the judgmental people :D I think I should have taken this opportunity for being oppressed to pray as much as I could wholeheartedly to grant me a clear skin because I was hurt by people's words :')


I may not look like as someone who always have a problem or serabut or gloomy or stressed. Because they are unnecessary and temporary. So I just accept it with hope that people could cope and keep calm with my flaws. It doesnt bother me, so surely it would not bother you too. Just keep your mouth shut and just let the nice things to be expressed from it. Let me live serenely XD

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sincerely Miss LOL

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Me and my same old grossed problem

I thought that I would get rid of my problem sooner after taking care of my face very precisely. I follow every rule and step that are required to protect my skin. Alhamdulillah, so far so good and my face is less dry than before. I used cleanser, toner, moisturizer and sunscreen just like most skincare freaks told in their social medias. And they are trusted so don't worry. I'm not going to blame any of them. My face is no longer invaded with acnes or any bumps so I feel like I want to add something new which is exfoliator. I cant really use physical exfoliator like St. Ives either green tea or apricot. So, I did some readings on chemical exfoliator. and I was interested with one stuff that consists of glycolic acid which claim for having low percentage of it and suitable for beginners etc T.T I tried it in just a small amount (patch test). I dabbed it at my left cheek but not all parts. I just dabbed it almost close to my ear because there were some tiny bumps like milia over there. And they were very stubborn to be killed. So, my major reason for adding this "holy grail" product was to make my skin clearer. (How I wish)

BUT NO ..
To have a flawless skin like other girls would just be a dream for me :')

I am terribly upset with the reaction happened on my face.
I just used it for three days at night, meaning three dabs only at a small part of my left cheek. but they did very great in welcoming itchy and big acnes on my cheek. For your information, my skin is very poor in recovering scars. and they can appear very red especially during day. So, people wouldn't see any clear part on my face as there are red bumps everywhere, and they even attacked my chins. they are irritating and I could not help myself from not touching them. I became more interested to look at the mirror, giving up with myself, not hoping too much for recovery because I know this would take a donkey year to heal. I thought it would end soon, but now it begins again. and I am healing them again starting from zero...………………….

So, SAY NO to glycolic acid ;D for me. not for others. I'm just not as fortunate as others who could try anything based on positive feedbacks and receive the same impacts too. No, I'm not. I just have to stick with my current skincare instead of planning to exfoliate my skin.

and I am not interested to cover my skin with stuffs like foundation etc so, me is redha if people see my with such flawed face. Just accept it. I can accept it, but I am just ashamed to deal with people that seem to judge my face. I don't know if such people exist, but if you guys happen to experience the same problem with me, YOU KNOW. :D It is 'our' problem for having such a bad thought while people don't even give a damn to our ugliness. LOL.

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sincerely Miss LOL

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DreamS

Okay xpela tajuk dalam English tapi nak tulis entry dalam Malay. macam pelik plak nak tukar tajuk jadi Mimpi atau Impian.. anyway, tahun baru kita mesti nak ada azam baru la, baju baru la #eh. Kebiasaannya, tahun baru kita tend to renew everything. tak kisahla dari sudut fizikal, mental, niat mahupun akhlak kita. Mesti konfem nak yang baru. Tapi tak semua org. ada yang dont give a damn to a new year. they just maintain, xde usaha nak berubah or what. and ada jugak yang upgrade diri tanpa perlu tunggu tahun baru. But to me, bile masuk je tahun baru, semangat jadi lain sikit. byk je thoughts and ideas yg dirancang utk tahun baru. Almaklumlah, kite mesti nak a better day ahead. Nak improve mane yang patut. Nak improve chapters dlm hidup kita so that ending pon best !

Tapi entri ni bukan nk tlis psl azam tahun baru ke ape, tapi more to dreams or angan angan mat jenin.

Harini byk berangan actually, tambah2 tadi laptop xnak hidup. sampai takleh nak google info pasal paper Khamis ni. tapi bile dah jadi ni, nak blogging plak. Huhu.

Baru2 ni berangan nak buat lasik.. sebab tengok kawan ade buat lasik. So nekad nak kumpul duit laa nk buat lasik. pastu cite kt kawan,pstu die ckp tunggu kerja laa sbb mahal. Pastu cite kt kawan satu lg, die ckp, lasik ni mcm xde pon bg jaminan yg kite akn xrabun slamanya. akan ad tendency uk rabun balik after few years. then, kawan ckpla better buat braces.

Pastu, rase nak buat braces plak. mmg berniat jgk nk buat braces.. tapi braces ni mcm amik masa jgk.. haish ain ni xpenyabar plak. dlm 2++ thun mcm tu rsenyer. tp bile pikir balik xde la lama sgt. lagi2, masa skrg cepat je berlalu.. plus, braces ni wayyy affordable drp lasik. so maybe, prioritizekan nk buat braces lah kot. braces skrg dah jd trend smpi ak fikir murah sgt ke braces smpi smua org pakat buat ni?!?!?!?!?!

Semalam tgk story keknis, dia posted feedback kawan2 retis die yg consume toujours advanced. terpengruh jap tgk feedback diorg. semua pakat positif even bru mkn like 2-3 days. huhu. keknis dhla skrang glowing gile pipi die. comel dooh. So, rase nak try toujours plak. tapi harga die ya ampun, mmg xsanggup den nak sacrifice rm200 utk stuff less than a month. yela, masih student lagi kan. Maybe kena mkn tomato jela setiap hari kalau nak floles and glowing. Let's pray for my skin renewal.

Pastu duit nak shopping, nak kawen and nak travel peciter?????????

susah kan bile unemployed ni tapi angan2 banyak. I cant sacrifice my shopping habit in order to attain any of my dreams. Hahaha. so pendek kate, xdapekla nk berbraces. huhu tapi nakkk. dapt2 inshallah. kite kerja partime bersungguh2 kali ni and jangan guna pon duit gaji sampai bleh achieve yg kite nak. Fuh, naseb baiklah tak trliur nak beli gadgets or stuffs mcm tu.

Pray for my road to unlock my dreams !

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sincerely Miss LOL

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me getting excited over my friend's happiness Lulz

there are times when I am so packed with stories. lots of stuffs had been hovering in my mind and I cant wait to spill everything in this blog.. but, they remained in this mind since Ive been to lazy to type on this blog. I chose to type in my mind. huhu

okay, lets begin with the first story. A story which I was excited upon my friend's happiness. both of them are my friends actually.

i have a bestfriend (girl). she told me that currently she is with someone new. guess what, the guy that stole his heart was the guy that secretly admired her since form 2 and we all knew that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was excited to know that my best friend had finally opened her heart to accept the guy and they guy came just in time. they did not contact since after PMR and the guy approached him again this year I guess. Huhu what a miracle.

I know exactly how it feels when your crush likes you back. it is beyond the happiness when walking on air. Im so happy on behalf of the guy LOL. both of them are so lucky to be together and I really hope they end up to marriage.

however, this girl she really deserves such guys after meeting previous guy that didnt appreciate her at all. I was dumbfounded as well knowing what he did to my friend. I was like, the guy was really dumb to dump her coz she is so precious. If I were a guy, I would be so lucky to have an intelligent, soft spoken and pretty girl as my life partner. but still, she finally with the guy that really deserves her. Alhamdulillah.. knowing her very sweet love story makes me wonder how my love story would be like. I am not hoping but surely Allah has planned the best for me Inshallah :')

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sincerely Miss LOL

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Regret

I was blaming myself for buying a denim shirt at a fest in my university. the reasons were the shirt was too fade and baggy for me. It seems like the shirt was not mine, it was like the borrowed one. though the size was S ( yeah, maybe I'm smaller than S) hiks.
then, I ranted and felt so guilty for wasting my RM19 for that shirt. I wondered what would I buy with that amount... I might get prettier stuffs and full with lace maybe, ruffles too. but kemeja surely is not my style. How can I buy such clothes? I failed in controlling my lust seeing SALE and rejecting my friend's plead.

so, I could not concentrate in studying. Even connecting the laptop with wifi turned out to be so hard. Not until my roommate returned from her usual night meeting. after she landed on her comfy bed, I went straightway to her room and sighing about my mistake .. and I asked her if she's interested with the clothes. I showed to her and she seemed interested. I know that kind of clothes is her taste ! yeah, finally I would get that RM 19 back but a month later. but better than nothing huhu. Okayyyyy , will update more soon inshallah :) more about my passion I guess. guess WHat ???????????

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sincerely Miss LOL

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Ikan Patin Asam Pedas versi MoMi

Asam pedas ni patut rasa macam mana sebenarnya? - Mia

Tak tahula tapi aku suka asam pedas MoMi
- Ain

Mama,
Masak je apa apa semua mesti nampak senang and rasa mesti sedap gile. Mostly, my family belah mama semua reti memasak and selalu buat event or org kelantan panggil jjamu. Dari baking tradisional,western sampai la cooking. Menjahit beads, renda, bunga and baju pon pro. Kitorang plak masih merangkak tapi dimana ada kemahuan disitu ada jalan.

Alhamdulillah, cuti tiga bulan baru baru ni memang gigih jugak memasak macam2 , isi perut dengan macam2. Paling kerap masak ialah menu begedil, tomyam, asam pedas, nasi goreng kampung dan menu ayam lain lain.

Hari ni sempat tengok2 mama masak asam pedas and fresh2 lagi dalam ingatan method yang mama buat

Bahan bahan utama

- Ikan patin
-sos cili
-sos tomato
-kicap sotong
-cili boh
-bawang putih & bawang merah yang diblend
-bunga kantan
-hirisan/tumbuk halia saiz ibu jari
-daun kesum
-tomato potong
-bawang besar potong cincin
-asam jawa

Cara cara

) Mula mula panaskan minyak
2) tumis bahan blend
3) naik bau, tumis bawang besar
4) masukkan cili boh, sos tomato, sos cili, air asam jawa
5) bila minyak menggelegak, masukkan garam, secukup rasa dan kicap sotong ikut suka.
6) masukkan air
7) masukkan hirisan tomato
8) masukkan ikan
9) masukkan bunga kantan dan daun
kesum
10) siap !

Sangat menyelerakan tapi tak cukup pedas. 🌸 Mungkin boleh letak lada kot nanti.

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sincerely Miss LOL

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Part time

I started to indulge in part time working approximately in 2013.

My first part time job was at Cupbon at KB Mall. I worked there for 2 months and 12 days as far as I could remember and it gave me quite a vivid picture of how hard it is to earn money for your own. It requires a very strong will and determination from you in not to giving in if you face any sorts of difficulties throughout the experience. 

anyway, I would not be telling you the experience or even the upside or downside of getting into part time job, but I would rather write about the kind of jobs that I had been involved during long holidays in my entire life.

after working at Cupbon, I applied for a partime job at Renaissance hotel at Kota Bharu. I worked as a waitress. it happened to be during fasting and Eid month. and you knew how tired I were working at particular months. but it was worth it to get such experience working and learning about the stuffs in a renowned hotel and I got to learn on how to arrange the cutleries, the name of different glass, folding the napkins, making smoothies and yes I got to taste every delicious dishes in the hotel. yummeh! of course I did gain my weight at the moment. *sigh


I did try applying a job at a bakery. but just the old and small one. I easily get attracted to a signboard highlighting "PART TIME NEEDED". After seeing it, I will jot the number and contact the employer without hesitation. It was my first day and the toughest one. The job was to roll on the flour into cookies size. plenty one. uncountable. and under a hut. it is like a garage. open one with the zinc as the roof. You would never imagine it, rolling the flour while standing and the sun was striking it rays so strong like it never wants to surrender just for the sake of me. It really gave me serious headache. The payment was quite a little. Not suit for the efforts that I had to put and how my energy got used up just rolling thousand "biskut arab".. I am done working at hot place. I am not choosy actually, but the place was uncomfortable. It was not like other bakery where the workers can work in a shop, rolling the biscuits on the floor with fans on the ceiling. there was not even a ceiling to shield us. It was just the zinc roof and a huge metallic table to roll the flour.. 

besides involving in food and beverage field, I also had expanded my experience by associating in fashion ! I started working at the field when I saw the advertisement through Instagram about an event called Mood Republik. the duration was only around 2-3 days only. my first fashion brand that I was hired was Rayyan Haya. It was great knowing that I would receive a free piece from the brand. though it was an outdated design,but who would not get excited to receive something free,isnt?

then, I started to become eager and always wait for such events to seek for part timers ! I love it and hope that I get the clothes by them LOL. next brand was Dhiasara Batik and the latest one was Fifa.Rasol. I did get the free clothes from them but my friend did not get any.and we assume that we could not anticipate anything free since the economy nowadays is at stake. So, just work with pure intention ; to seek experience and get paid XD

besides, I did seek my experience in part time job at my own institution!
UIA is such a good place to gain not only knowledge about the your course or islamic knowledge, but it also enhance the students' ability to start a business by organizing fests over the semester, (I guess two events within a week, it goes on until the end of semester). from the events held, me and my other friends are able to apply for part-time job since most of the booths will advertise "PART TIME NEEDED" to IIUM page. I had worked at several booths such as project tudung booth at Convest  hill and also flower shop during convocation ! i did learn how to arrange the flowers into bouquet, learn how to design the ribbons (I think I forgot about it already) and learn the new names of flowers and the small flowers that look like grass. they actually got names Zzzzzz


We( uia students)have several groups where some important people would post about part time advertisement or chance to work as part time during weekends or anytime that we are free. there are quite several groups such as vacant job hunter, UIA job part time and also group partimers. those are the names of whatsapp group. and yes theres another one named Part Time baby. the famous part time jobs are taking care of babies at a nearby daycare and catering at KLCC. I had one experience at the day care. and sorry to say that it was the first and last time, not because of the babies but the place was like a hut and super hot (which I cant withstand) it does not look like a nursery at all. it looks like a home for bachelors. the walls and floors are made of cements and not even with tiles! no bed and no playground. you can never imagine how it looks like until you reach there.huhu


currently, I am doing part time jobs in UIA which are at the photocopy service on Monday and Wednesday from 5pm until 9 pm and also as a seller at uncle best chicken over the weekend from 4.30 pm until 9.30 pm.. It sounds a bit hectic but no it doesn't (so far la huhu)

Actually working during weekdays after having classes was quite fun and it feels even better when your colleagues are happy go lucky and cheer you up, making you forget the hassle and bustle of the workload. but, though it just for a while but it relieves my tense a little.

As for working during weekends, I decided it just to avoid myself from berjoli with my friends over the weekend or every weekend coz u know, previously I hardly stay longer during weekend. I must sneak out and spend my money even just a little but it still counted as money.. now I am a bit better in savings. Hmm, not really but better than nothing right? my working hours are flexible because if I got to skip working for inevitable reasons like parents coming to KL or BIG sale (this one counts as inevitable hehe) I can ask for my partner to replace me. Hoho. sounds heaven but it will cut my wage for a day. but I always try to avoid that skipping part by replacing her working hours as well whenever she could not make it during her day. 

My dominant purpose of working is actually I want to collect some money to travel to Japan.I don't know how to save money or earn money since I dont even receive any scholarship or any extra money from any source. So I guess this is it ! My plan. but I do actually afraid that this might distract my focus in my studies. But, I don't want to take this whole thing as a heap that prevents me to achieve my dream to go to Japan or even to succeed in my studies. I am not greedy to achieve both. But I notice that if I don't do the part time job like before, it doesn't make me any cleverer at all. By working, I realize that time is really precious and I notice that I cannot waste any left time by doing nothing but to catch up everything that I might less understand during class. I really hope that this kind of idea (working during study) can occupy my time by doing useful activities instead of spending the weekend by watching movies or eat luxury stuffs that can be reached within a few minutes (life in KL, you know..) or yes, sleeping , doing nothing in mahallah over the weekend. valid for lazybones or moneyless. I have been there too. hehehe.  Pray for me fellas :) pray that I wouldn't use my wage for shopping clothes, flats or handbags. Just name it ... oh yeah, shawl as well.........

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sincerely Miss LOL

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