Tuesday, 6 May 2014

whats on my mind .

After my Papa's absence recently , lots of unexpected things happened to me. It didnt happen at the same time but one by one ... I dont know why but I think Allah is trying to give some joys or not making me feel lonely . and maybe He is testing me too .

First thing first , my really best buddy in UIA , a guy who i firstly knew and got closed in UIA .he was my class rep when i was in sem 1 .. on now we are in sem 3 .. one day in April , i was shocked getting his long messages about his lovey dovey confession to me. I couldnt say a word coz i never thought that he might got that feeling . Im not rejecting him coz he is soo nice to me. very nice coz he accepted all my flaws and bad manners, yeah, i didnt hide y bad manners when im with him.coz hes my best friend right ? So i told him that , let us be like bfore .friends . im not rejecting him. i just told him that let the time decides coz Allah has planned everything . i dont want a wasteful relationship . it took couple of days for him to suit with me as usual friend like before. he seemed to show his interest towards me. and i dont like that coz i dont like him like he does to me ! so i ignored him . seriously i ignored him coz i dont like giving people hope . i hardly love him more than a friend . never crosss in my mind. geee..finally, he changed to normal. and i like the normal him . best friend .

thennnnnnnnnnnn.. one fine day , i found my crush's instagram  :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) omg. hes so cute..  so i followed. but what a bad pictures, full with his girlfriend's pics. so im a lilttle bit blue . but i just love to see his smile. he looks so nice .. we dont know each other coz he is a senior from different course. i just fell into him when we met accidentally during sem 2. took many days also to know his name .. not long after following his ig, i found out him liking my past past pictures .omgee . CRUSH STALKED ME. people said that crush is an impossible person to get. yeah i admit that. i knew who i am if to be compared with him. he looks soo perfect to me.. later later later ,he dropped comments at some of my pictures. PRAISING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. ok sorry i was melting at that time . and here it went. how we broke the ice.. through comments on my pictures. i also dropped comment at his pictures. our conversation only lasts for two days when he came up asking me numberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i refused to give mine and asked his number pulakkkkkkkkk. wow, he gave his number.. and i immediately wassap him .and till this day, we still in contact .. and on last last tuesday, it was our first meeting at a restaurant nearby uia. and it was his first time seeing meeeeeeeeeeeeee !! so sad. coz he didnt recognize his peep since last years. so at frist meeting, we didnt take pic coz he said he felt awkward with me. never mind . the next day, he invited me to have lunch with himmmmmmm. hehehehe. but in uia lorh. so we went to ZABA cafe. i feel pleased coz he didnt look shy walking with me. talking to me. people looks at us. yeah he is one of hottest guy i guess. auwwww. the cafe was packed with sardines. so he said that we just bought and ate in own mahalah. but, he strolled with me around UIA before sending me to my hostel. kinda of sweet right ? phew..... wait. i dont put any hope towards him. i know who i am . im dont deserve to get him . so here i am, foster grandchild. :) the next day after dat , he nvited me to watch movies. ergh. i was so insane coz i accepted it though it was already 12 pm at that time. he is full with surprises. moments at mid valley was unforgettable one coz he treated me so nice, even Amir , a guy that once fallen into me during first sem didnt do that even he told he loved me long time ago . this one is better. hoho. ok no need to reveal everything right??? coz this is not the last miracle happened to me. 

The third one , and i hope this is the last one. i am tired to face this anymore. Amir, mybe some of you knew about him . he liked me during first sem. and i like him too not long after that. he was such a sweettalker though he already got gf for 4 years when he was flirting me. Grrrr .. it was a long feeling. yeah, honestly, i liked him very much . he told me that he would break up with his gf and stay with me. konon la !!! sem 1 begun in June. we were close friends to at first time coz he always shared his problems with his gf to me. his gf was cheating on him on that time. flirting with other guy at her college.. and on sem2, amir told me that he was going to break up. but, failed. he said he still loved her and said sorry to me. ok just like that. giving me hope and asking me to just forgive and forget. ok bai . thennnnnnnnnnn.. he contacted me that saying that he couldnt forget me bla bla bla. and i was stupid coz still into him.  then he hurted me again when his gf realized that amir was into me and she accused me that i was the one who cause the break-up. to make it short ,his ex and i finally became friends.but amir and i, already became enemy. i blocked his wassap, unfollow his twitter, removed wechat account and everything that related to him . ok. we lost contact about four months since january .. and Amir did search for me for my absence especially when i lost my dad. he texted my roomate asking about me, asking whether i had changed my number. and he realized tht i blocked him. and not long after that, i got his message giving salam to me. i asked my friends' opinion whether to reply his text or not. yupt, lastly i unblocked him and here they go.. he asked my condition, saying sorry about my dad. telling his big missing towards me. puihhh. and the funny question is, he asked me whether we are still scandal? and would i be his scndal back ? omgee. so i replied by saying all the reasons why i avoided him . and he seemed dumbstruck and asked me to block him back . trololol. then i told him, if he didnt have intention to hurt me again, we could be friend again . anddddddddddd okay . friend. but he still with his sweetnessssssssssssssssss . but i need to be stronger coz i dont want to frust again with the same person.

Emm, now i have been thinking why I am facing this .. How Allah gonna test me ? Im afraid that I might get into trouble. huhu..  I hope it would not affect my final exam. haih . thanks for reading .

sincerely Miss LOL