Monday, 22 August 2016

Risau

Nak dekat masuk uia dah and aku sangat risau. risau nak sambung belajar tu satu. ada satu lagi kerisauan. kerisauan yang mana kawan kawan akan ajak keluar ; tengok wayang, shopping, makan makan or kemungkinan TEMAN DATING ! :O hurm memang dating x elok berdua duaan  but i suggest dont heret me plis. dah dengar dah ajak ajakan nk mintak teman tgk wayang, teman mkan , teman p situ and so on. you guys might know about me having a relationship with a guy. but at least u can know about him, he seems like having a cute thought about our feelings ( kirenye die cam rase benda ni xelok, yg mmg sumerg tau kan) aku pon takut. so kitorang since cuti ni mmg jrang contact (anggapla tak contact 3 bulan), ad msg tny kbr tp stkt tu jela, ikut mood dia and slbihnya mmg berhubung melalui doa (tu pon lau die mendoakan aku) so xpela kan. yg pasti, the thoughts are good for us. xcontact, xbersayang2, xberjumpa, but still we hope for the best of us. and i keep loving him each day. ( rse mcm amazing ng diri sndiri sbb still syg even xcontact or berckp psl soal hti pon) die mmg mcm tu. lain sikit drp others yg expecting texts, calls, dating everyday. to my friends, dont worry. ur friend has a very nice guy here. just pray for us, n for him to love me though we dont contact each other. mmg sekarang ni pun, ak berdoa sgt Allah pnjgkan jdoh kami. with him + such thoughts n kesedaran, makin berkenanlah aku kat dia kan? lol . ok pasal tu xpenting, jgn risau everything is fine. sbb kau mintak laki yg baik kan, so nah. dapat yg baik sgt. ekekeke. hurm, yg aku risau ni psl weekend aku yang bakal diisi dgn kawan2 yg nak ajak kpd lagha. oh please guys, ckuplah aku habiskan pitis time cuti ni. let my weekends are filled with studying, sleeping or relaxing. those are better than spending money. mcm mane nak elakkan if ttibe golongan tu best friends or your roomates !!!!!!!?????!!?!?!!?!?! Hurm, xhabis pikir ni.. xtau nk elak cmne. sekali pon xguna duit, yet my time is too precious to do those things. awal2 ni xyh lg la kot. tnggu lepas mid term ker.. or sebulan sekali je ke. come on la. kawan kau ni xmintak ptptn, parent je tanggung. kesian tak? and im the eldest not the youngest. xpee ajak je org lain. in shaa allah i okay. xjeles. duit skrg ni lau bleh nk save utk bli hadiah hari jadi kawan je.. xnak dah manja2 kan diri , bli kt diri sndiri ye Ain. you tuu dh bykkk dahh barang. cannot go shopping anymore okay? risau sgt :'( sayang duit sbb xbrp nak ade. semoga Ain Irdina dpt berhati2 dk uia tuu. jgn belanja sakan nohh.
sincerely Miss LOL

mati

Cuti kali ni or apparently bulan ni, aku banyak dengar pasal kematian. kematian sanak saudara, kematian saudara kawan kawan dan sebagainya. dah empat kematian yang aku dah visit. 3 from sedara + kawan mak aku, satu from ayah kawan aku. tak kurang jugak berita pasal orang yang ditimpa penyakit, contohnya kawan mak aku, baru find out kena kanser usus. yang accident pon banyak jugak. seram sangat. sometimes, pernah jugak aku mintak mati. hmm, ni pendek akal namanya. bile aku rase sedihh sgt or rase mcm the whole world doesnt need and love me, i think the best way is to die. -_- tapi xdela serious sgt smpi make efforts to end my life. just terfkir mcm tu.. tpi bile ditarbiah balik diri ni, ramai yg mati skrg ni mintak nk dikmbalikan kedunia. nak tebus balik dosa dosa lalu.. aku boleh imagine situasi tu. just like when u committed the sins, and you really regret with those sins, and mmg really2 want to putar balik masa dan tak buat. so mcm tula lbih kurang dgn org yg dah mati mintak hidup. both impossible. kite just boleh bertaubat n mintak Allah ampunkan dosa tu. bile kite selalu keep in mind such things, kite mmg takkan buat silap. tp tulah masalahnya. bile buat, tak ingat pulak benda2 ni.. im so terrified. i wish to die but am i ready ? x kan. so lepas ni, kena always be prepared untuk mati. elakkan buat dosa dan tingkatkan amal ibadah. kadang2, dosa yg kite buat tu, kite xnampak pun and kite sedar xsedar je buat. contohnye, dengki or bersangka buruk.. mostly benda ni berkait ng friends and family. lau ng family tu, rase xdisayangilah rse disisihkan la dan sebagainye. kdg2 tu baik xyah fikir la, buat serabut kepala je. truskan idup, buat kerja elok2, janji ade tmpt berteduh. gittew. lau kawan tuuuuuuuuuu, kawan kan ramai. kawan je ng semua. lau ad yg xbrp nak ikhlas tu, ramai lagi kan yang ikhlas. ok bai. nk tlis psl benda lain lak.
sincerely Miss LOL