So, I'm writing this to calm myself, to coax myself for grieving about the guy that is so heartless to me. Maybe, it is still not the right time to think about loving a guy coz all you need to focus is about repaying your parents' deeds all this while and be a good example for the others especially your siblings. and, you don't deserve that good guy until you change yourself first towards a better person. not only treating you appearance, but also your skills in cooking and etc. Then, people will come after you huhhuhu.
Dear self, don't torture yourself liking someone who doesn't even want to know you at first. Nobody is wrong , it just the time is not right. and don't simply downgrade yourself by sighing about your flaws that makes you unwanted. It isn't like that. The world is not that cruel. You just deserve someone else that remains unknown. Just be patient and be sure with Allah's plan and make du'a incessantly for a good partner for you. Allah is always with those who are patient. After all, you lose nothing for not being loved by a guy. you have your family and friends who are sooooooooooooooooo grateful to have you around. hopefully :')
And yeah, expressing love is not just by confessing with words, enough with your efforts and action.