What she did not know was, I already thought thoroughly before stepping into this semester, before deciding that I will extend my semester, I will graduate later than my friends and many more. i have been upset, down and more. Of course I care about my future.. Please dont question the sensitive questions if you do not know what I am dealing with. I did not take all the subjects altogether because I want to maintain a good pointer. I don't want to spoil it just to grad faster. I know I am not a fast learner lately. Huhu.. So, I decided to just finish my degree at the end of 2019 and graduate on 2020. Huhu.. Most of my family members and friends already supported my decision and hope the best for me. And I am also fine to see my friends' achievement and we even planned to do the pre convo together. No jealous or upset feeling at all. But, someone has just ignited the sadness again ...
Well, this issue is not too big for me cuz I will forget about it soon as I just want to focus and end this degree very soon but with flying colors Inshallah. but there's another situation.
People just cant stand seeing my flawed skin and questioned about it ?????????????????
Well, it did not just happen to me but also to my friend...
Do you people know that we did not plan to grow these bumps on our skin?
Do you pi-pol know that we do not want to have these????????
Oh, do you know that we actually take care of our skin more than you??????
and we are really cautious when eating food. There's a lot of 'NO' instead of yes. We avoid nuts, dairy food and food that are too oily and sweet.
But, things cant just always result just like we want..
I have suffered from acne severely when I was 18 years old.
Maybe it was due to the pollution there but it continues until now and getting worse. Even it seems to heal, they start to grow and grow again...
So, some people would ask...
Tak jaga makan ke?
Ni mesti sebab asyik tukar produk.
Muke berminyak tu sebab makan benda berminyak lah.
Muke sensitif ni.
Jangan makan coklat.
Minum air banyak sikit.
Tryla produk ni.. Tryla yang tu,
cuba makan supplemen ni..
Patut takde yang nak pun... (well maybe I feel this )
Geram nak picit.
Or even worse, they compare me with my other beautiful siblings, and wonder why didn't I become flawless like them?
Well, I wonder it too but I never bother about it because we siblings never compare cuz we know it would hurt. SO dont !
I know I am not that pretty enough in your eyes, I am not that deserved to be a Kelantanese due to my flawed face and my sedo funny looking and boring and what so ever. I know it already lah... But, I can try to improve my personality or akhlak as those can be shaped and improved. The skin is very stubborn and takes time to improve. So let us just pray for me to own a better skin just like you, the judgmental people :D I think I should have taken this opportunity for being oppressed to pray as much as I could wholeheartedly to grant me a clear skin because I was hurt by people's words :')
I may not look like as someone who always have a problem or serabut or gloomy or stressed. Because they are unnecessary and temporary. So I just accept it with hope that people could cope and keep calm with my flaws. It doesnt bother me, so surely it would not bother you too. Just keep your mouth shut and just let the nice things to be expressed from it. Let me live serenely XD
