*feeling useless* *sorrow mood* *tedious* *boring*

At this moment,I could not bear this tons of same feeling anymore..
Although it is the same feeling,but when I gathered it*,it becomes tons.
*understand? :/
please dun stop reading although I'm gonna talk rubbish stuff today..
I need to share my mood :/



I get up early in the morning everyday to shake hand with my mum before she went to office,
tidying up her room (that is only thing I can do to help her)
or if I wake up late, I see that nobody,nobody at downstairs level.
everyone has gone to school and office.
I want to apply a part time at bakery near my house,but my mum doesn't allow me coz it is hot nowadays.
So, I spend most of my time day and night just in my room..wandering and decorating 
watching television?not interested at all..cooking? when my grandma had gone to heaven,that spirit had invisible( hehe,related or not*? )
..reading newspapers?seldom.
I rather sitting in front of lappy.waiting for nothing..
my lil brother would come upstairs inviting me to have lunch...
and after that he would busy himself playing with ps2.. -_-
at night, I am not alone anymore.I got my family back..hoho..
but night-time is just a short spend coz they need to sleep early for the next days..
I would sleep early if I got nothing to read,no one to chat,nobody to give opinions.
My phones? I feel like I want to throw them !
My bestfriend (P) keeps texting me all days,not once a day,maybe five a day..
(he never get bored with me) :D
I don't have a mood or even a credit to fill up his days like old days.
I am lazy to text right now,even to open the messages..

(keep repeating the same chores almost 3 months) *gone insane..

Right now,at the top of my home ( my room is on the upstair)
it is the only place that I stucked..
although people sees the huge figure from outside, but inside it, I feel the emptyness the narrowness..
coz,although it is big or a lot,if we are alone, it would be worthless.
all my sisters n brother study in a boarding school.
they only come home during holidays..
how I wish the time to fly fast so that the holiday could reach immediately.
miss thier laugh,their routines that always cheer me up though sometimes I even can't on9 when the returned home !
although right now I am holidaying(long one)*,holidaying alone is BORESOME lot n lot !
I need to do something,meeting people so that I could talk as much as I do before.
laughing with people ,seeing happy or sad mood by other..
I AM ALONE.

frankly speaking, I don't like to be alone,
not telling you dat I hate to be single,(never get in that relay anymore)
alone that I mean right now is alone in my home..
No, I am grateful already for letting me to breath in and out all the days dat had passed ,
but my days were blank .. I did nothing worth either to me or to my family...
I don't know what to do..
the scorching sun prevents me to do energetic outdoor such as cycling,walking,playing outside ALONE..
those the acnes and ulcers that visit me never cheer me up even I don't invite them !
facing them rite now !
to be sincere, if I could, I would always try to hide myself from the scorching sun..hehe..
(she don't like the lights sang by JB~) 

Now, I am sitting right in front of a long table with the laptop placed on it..
and a standing fan at my side and the ceiling fan on the ceiling *of course..
sweltering everyday in my room coz my house is right on the roadside.
typing my tedious days that I had been through on my blogs..
commenting happily (alone again) in the blog n fb :p
reminscing my memories with you guys through facebook..
liking the quotes that appear at home that suit  with my life..
If my best friends still appear off,I would lay on my bed ..
reading stack of novels borrowed from my cubemate..
or sleeping while waiting them to online..

 I REALLY WISH THAT I COULD DO VARIOUS NEW THINGS WITH MY SIBLINGS AND MY FRIENDS.I SELDOM ALONE COZ I LOVE MINGLING WITH PEOPLE :D

p/s :actually,I was waiting for a postman (fast delivery) who called me early in the morning asking the location of my house.. I won a blog contest recently n I got two presents (a dress and a novel)
suddenly,I heard a pon pon*.I ran hurriedly to get the man.Now,the presents are right beside me..

the dress doesn't look like a dress at all
although it is pink,but the flower designed on it were -_-
short sleeve
over fitted(tried just now)
small to me mybe.
(dislike!)
the novel?
Mr Cupcakes..
sounds interesting.
ok bsyukur2x :p

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sincerely Miss LOL

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